“Mocha Monday’s” at McDonald’s and free pastries on Tuesdays at Starbucks. The caffeine delivery vehicle has changed but the all out war for pep (or at lease the profits of delivering pep) is as hot as ever. And it feels very very familiar. Round 1 was something of a spectacle as the war for global domination was slugged out between Coca-Cola and Pepsi in tit-for-tat ad campaigns and celebrity head hunting. Outlandish products were developed (”Crystal Pepsi anyone?”), strategies calculated (”Okay, we’ll bring the classic Coke recipe back!”) and scores kept (Who can argue with a blind taste-test?).
How about some simple character types for each of the “new” players?
Starbucks: The self-obsessed, and somewhat snooty, little brother that thinks he knows everything. He got a pat on the back for doing well on a science exam and now thinks he’s destined to run Merk, GE, Monsanto and NASA simultaneously. His drive for attention, and approval, will be his undoing as he tries to con the neighbors into buying duplicate newspaper subscriptions using a false name. His only method of getting around the neighborhood is his iconic Harry Potter bike. It was quite awesome when got it, but now only a few well placed Transformers stickers can cool some of the mockery. He makes decent coin with his paper-route, but once he leaves his densely populated neighborhood for the surrounding rural areas his slow to sporadic delivery makes his paper far less appealing.
McDonald’s: Obviously the elder sister, and a slick operator with years of experience in handling the parents, meaning she usually gets her way. While Little Starbucky was basking in the glory of his recent report card and pleading his case to annex his older sister’s room, she was volunteering at a local hospital to pad her glowing college application to escape to a warm-weather university. As for travel, she’s pretty outgoing and can catch a ride with one of the neighborhood families she babysits for, or email one of her dozens of life-long friends. As for cash flow, her more diverse range of income sources (babysitting, mowing lawns, holiday retail) assures that she can earn money year round and anywhere she goes.
So, who wins in the end? It could be that witty little bastard that just moved in down the block who won’t shut up about the health benefits of Tea…
